Thursday, May 21, 2009
8:01 PM
this hour....
Suppose I'm lying on my bed and dreaming now.. but then.. I just can't sleep. I guess another depression.. another down.. sad.. pathetic...

Well, I don't know.. I just have strange feelings inside. I don't know whether it is positive or negative. Suppose I felt happy by now but it is like something is opposing it, make me feel guilty? what's is wrong with me? Well, I really don't know.

I began to be panaroid again these days and digging memories.. good or bad =S well sort of torture myself with some of my thoughts.

I thought I have brought myself into life.. a happy life.. but do I? I really doubt it. Somehow, I just feel like crying, have my tears wash away my hate my unhappiness. And go to the beachside and shout as loud as I can. I suppose I just need some means to relieve myself. Something that can keep me up all times to let me forget of something.

If I have hurt anyone these days, I am sorry for that. When I am in this kind of period, my temper is uncontrollable. My attitude and my words will be rude. If you get offended, you have my apology. I don't wish there is any misunderstandings... if you think there is, don't hesitate to come to me, you will have my explanation.

Sigh.. I have a hard time during this hour... I don't think I will be able to sleep =/

And I don't know who I can get to.. and eventhough there is one, I also don't know what actually is my problem. It is like bees buzzing in my mind =S

I guess another maintenance mode is on? haha =S =/ =[

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