Hey everyone. I think I posted the lyrics and the background music of this demo last year, but that time there wasn't any melody in the demo. And I just found this demo with my vocal on it and I totally forget to upload it last year >.<
Maybe you have no idea which song I am talking about. Nevermind. Just treat this as a new demo =] Anyway, I think I forgot to boost vocal volume when I mix them down so the background music is louder than my vocal but still it can be heard =]
Okay... This is going to be another long post... and I typed this in the midnight, so it is going to be very sad and biased...
Sometimes I just don't understand myself... what am I really want? what am I really looking for? I always expect something to be special especially on me! Friendship, result, life and etccc...
Well, I don't really care about results as long as it is a pass grade and it is what I deserve on what I done for it. But still, this world... results lead everything. If you have an awesome results, you get everything. If you don't, you are just a FAILURE~! Don't even complain about it, you just don't deserve anything. No matter how hard you do, with a crap result, you are nothing. Well, some of you might said that I have a good result don't you? Err.. Well, when you compared.. is my results really awesome? I would said NO. But it is what I expected from what I have studied, so I am happy with it, just that if miracle could happen, I hope it would be better. Sometimes, I think I just get my results by LUCK, not by my knowledge. Can you imagine, with a break down of ABABC, I end up with A? This is ridiculous... even my teacher was shocked when she looked at the breakdown and commented that I am really lucky. Well, this is actually sad.. I thought I did well for my paper 5, and I was expecting A for it, and I get C?! ><>
Friends? haha sometimes I asked myself, what are friends? who are friends? and why we need friends for? I defined friend as someone that is there when you need them, and take in account of your existence and share happy and sad stuffs with you and someone that understand you. This is how I determined my real friend. Well, there is always fake friend around, don't them? Someone who looks for you when they need something from you and after that, *kaboom* no more contact... and after sometimes, they find you again.. ask you to do something then disappear again... WHAT IS THIS? Only when they need you and make use of you, they remember you. Well, I don't give a damn to this kind of "friendship". And if you're one of them, PLEASE stop approaching me, you're just making me hate you more and don't expect I would do anything for you again.
Sometimes, I am wondering when someone stop contacting you and only when you approach them, they start to talk with you and etcc.. are they really treat you as a friend? It is like they don't even bother to check out how are you now? only till you check out how are them. =/ And maybe you people used to be GOOD FRIEND in the past and just a holiday or a short term break, you people don't even bother to contact. Well, maybe you are just the one concern about how your friend is and they never bother how is yours? So, are you really a friend of them? Or you're just the one bother about this "friendship". HAHA =S
Well I may sound panaroid and think too much in that case, but if you put yourself in my shoe, what do you think? Probably you will think of the same thing. And yea, I am a sensitive and panaroid one.. so yea.. =/
And regarding my life.. I know it is rotting.. really rotting.. I am just gaming and sleeping for the past few months. =/ I know I should at least get a job or do something meaningful BUT I am just too lazy and just want to slack off and enjoy this gap. And after my degree, I am going to work till I am retired and I do get holiday every year but it is way too short for me to relax. SO now is the only time that I can do whatever I want, SO why should I bother to work? HAHA omg.. I am totally useless! a scrub i suppose. =/ Well, I do want to work.. BUT THEN without a degree cert, what work will I be assigned with? Most probably, I will do paperwork, filing, all those rubbish stuffs... and what can I gained from them except the "salary". I need something that I can really learn something out of it and something that really challenging. BUT which company would bother to give such an important task to someone w/o a degree cert and working experience? LOL
These few days, I can't really sleep. Well not because of WOW. I just do alot of thinking when I lied on my bed. There is something really annoy me and I tried to find out the thing. I guess I know what is it but I don't know what can do it for it and should I do anything to it. =/ I fear something would happened again and I DON"T WISH IT to happen =S
Somehow I really want to get myself really drunk and forget about the thing. And sometimes even worst, I wish I could just leave this world and I would never think about it anymore. =/
Well, don't worry too much about me... I am saying that. I will keep myself strong and try to get over it as soon as possible. Oh man.. I really hate myself sometimes =(
Nothing much happened today, just me "relaxing" in my room lol I was awake since 8am but I still lied on my bed till 12pm. And today started with WOW again... omg.. I am a bit... bored of wow now lol I need something else, something interesting to have fun with lol. Then around 2pm, I out with my mom to fetch brother to gym and I went to MD collect my award cert and A level cert. It was there like 2 weeks ago and now only I went and took it. =P Then I back home and take an afternoon nap till 6pm LOL *I M A SLEEP PIG* Then woke up and continue WOW.. but nothing much to do inside there. HAHA =SSS
Although it was already night time, weather still hot zzz And since nothing to do, then I decided to continue on my song compose lol Anyway, I am going to share the lyrics here. You're welcome to comment on them =)
仔细寻觅过每一个角落 探听你可能所在的下落 我也曾梦过 没有你的日子如何过 孤单 寂寞 难过
你从不告诉我你的感受 总是我揭穿你所有借口 感觉也变奏 我和你的距离没尽头 剩放手 或许能够自由
感觉变了 温度降了 我们都已走到尽头了 为何我舍不得 还想守护什么 勉强地把记忆给挽留了
感觉变了 我心痛着 付出太多心会舍不得 你冷淡地对着 我还忍受着你的折磨 期待感觉变得好了
I still working on the melody but it is doing well, I got the overall idea just need to perfect the playing now and also... singing XD I think I should be able to do the recording soon. One of my friend told me that I should send my song to Astro, but should I? LOL my song is so low standard, send there also no use. Just make me paiseh nia LOL But anyway, thanks for the compliments and infos. I will consider about it if I really confident with myself =)
OMG!!! What happened to my area... zzzz... two days straight no current at 7+pm! This is terrible. And lasted for one hour plus. So hot and so boring.... And it always occur when I want to reply someone in the msn.
And this time, before the 1st day, I watched COMING SOON and now this happened to me... it issss scaryyy LOL
Anyway, life without current is ZZZZ. This is the main point of this post LOL
Finally I get my ass out of my chair and went out with friends lol. This time was a movie outing and it was the movie that I anticipated much for past few weeks. It is COMING SOON. I heard people said it should be very scary and nice. And so, three girls and me went to watch it. Oh man... Saturday night is a terrible timing to look for a parking at Gadong. I called the cinema to hold on my booking because I was still looking for parking in the basement and it had already past the collecting time =.=
Well, the movie is just okay. I don't know whether is that my expectation is too high or the movie is meant to be just okay. But one part of the movie is scary and the other parts are just so-so. So, if you're looking for a really scary horror movie, "Coming Soon" might not be your choice =) I suppose it is more like a thriller rather than a ghost movie.
And we met JingYi in the mall before our movie start. She was having a late-dinner function in at Riqzun. And I saw Teacher Veronica too. So surprising! lol
Then after movie, we went to Sheeling's house. And I waited outside her house like for half an hour. They didn't tell me that they went to buy foods zzzz LOL And I saw Foo with IngSiang, Weideng and Makai coming together in Foo's car. And we're still waiting for the girls. =.=
Then usual storiesssss time till late night around 3+am LOL Wah.. lot of reminiscence. Lot of stories in the secondary... I miss all those moments.. I miss all you people... =]
I like to dream during my sleep. It is the most enjoyable moment during my sleep. It is like watching a drama or movie and I wish I will not wake up till the very end of the dream.
Sometimes, I dream of some event and it did happened days or months after. <-- A forecast dream?
Sometimes, I wonder what actually a dream is trying to tell me?
I know you would probably dream of what you think the most on the day or before you sleep. Yeah! This is proven on my own.
Well, yesterday and today, I have dreamed on the same thing. I dream of all my friends, secondary friends and college friends. Like in a gathering in some restaurants. And in a big hall, more like a school reunion. In the dream, I saw a lot of my friends that are mostly all studying abroad. =/ And I dreamed of chinese orchestra performing on a big hall stage with everyone wearing formal. lol
HAHA. Well, I miss you guys alot and I wonder when will I able to meet up with you guys again... years later? or never ever again =SSS Ohhh.. this is sad (>.<)
Derick Chua, the owner of this boring blog. He is going to hit 21 by 12 Nov 2010 which is a sad thing because it sounds really old.
He is currently studying MORSE in Uni. of Warwick which he struggles a lot but he believe he can overcome all obstacles one day(hmm...).
He is a great musics lover and he is yet to be a good composer(hopefully a great one in the future). He is always a clown in front of people.
The biggest lies that he ever told are: he is shy and he is gorgeous superstar(LOL). Well well well.. overall Derick is CRAZY.
