Wednesday, March 14, 2007
3:58 PM
Depressed...
I hate this feeling.. I hate myself... I hate the world...

Suppose that able to get a scholarship is a happy thing but for me, it is just a burden and how I wish I could throw it away(only now). Currently, I am applying for the scholarship for me to pursue my A level studies oversea. However, I don't really want to apply the scholarship just for my A level because I am currently doing this in Brunei. If I take that, I will restart all my A level studies in August which means by the time I graduate, all my friends are already doing their degree studies.

After the A level I studied oversea, I will need to apply another scholarship for my degree studies according to my A level result.

From here, I can conclude that doing my A level oversea or locally is the same except the "name of the college". So, I rather choose to study in Brunei and work hard to achieve more A's or straight A's in my A level. Then, I could apply scholarship for my degree course.

Well, this is what I think and it is totally different from what my dad think. My dad want me to take this opportunity to study oversea because he said that the education level in UK is always better than in Brunei. Well, to me, there are the same except the name of the college. Is that getting straight A's in Brunei is nothing to be surprised in UK? or Getting straight A's in UK is much more better than in Brunei?

Well, I really don't know what to do next. Somehow, I think that should just stop my study and start working? If like this, then I won't facing any academic problem again... Well, I know this is stupid...

I think I will just pass up the form and wait for the government to reply... Plus, I don't think I can pass the Malay Oral exam this time... So, I don't think I could get it...

Back to top